10.08.2011

VHS Cover Of The Day - Never Too Young To Die

Image courtesy of robotGEEK'SCultCinema.blogspot.com

This was one I received in the mail yesterday and one I reviewed back in July of this year (for a recap check out my review here), but I still feel this is a grossly overlooked gem in the 80's Trash Cinema genre. 
Truth be told though, I don't think that was the genre they were aiming for. I have a strong suspicion they were going more for a young James Bond kind of a vibe, but with some of the most WTF? creative decisions I've ever seen put to film, I don't think this film really had a chance for mainstream success. 

I love this film with a passion. It's definitely a product of it's time but it's so much more than that. First off you have original James Bond George Lazenby playing the dad of John Stamos's character, Lance Stargrove (if that's not a spy name, I don't know what is). By the way, both father and son are always referred to only as Stargrove, you know, like James Bond. But you also have Gene Simmons playing a hermaphrodite cult leader/lounge singer who, by the way, does a song and dance number so disturbing, the images will be burned in your brain forever. Also, you've got a frequently nude Vanity doing what she does best, looking good naked and often, and trying her best to deliver her ridiculous lines with a straight face. John Stamos is the perfect embodiment of 80's cheese and with him as the glue, it all comes together so horribly perfect. This film is so bad in the "awfully good" sense because of almost every single creative decision that went into making this from the casting, story, direction, editing and right down to the music and absurd script.....and I loved every second of it. If you've never seen this or haven't seen it since it's original release on VHS back in 1986, I strongly suggest asking a buddy for a copy or getting your own VHS copy since it's never had a DVD release or even a Laserdisc release if i'm not mistaken. I myself hadn't seen it since it's original release until I reviewed it back in July and I had such a blast with it. 

6 comments:

  1. Never Too Young To Die is a hilarious gem that John Stamos has disavowed in interviews. We don't know why, he should be proud of his work here.

    We love this movie so much, we will have a review coming in December.

    Also the song is very catchy. "STARGROVE! FLYIN' LIKE YOU'VE NEVER FLOWN!"

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  2. You said it man! This movie rules! And I loved the fact that there was a theme song actually called Stargrove played during the opening credits. Just so you knew what kind of film you were going into. Classic!

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  3. thanks to you, i was able to enjoy this with my brother. We both went WTF more than once, that`s for sure. And it was soo much fun. The movie is somewhat schizophrenic. The Mad Max characters in the normal world, a pretty ridiculous plot and the way the sex scene was build up to, holy Geezus. Gene Simmons must be applauded for this, it seemed like he came to late for the casting to the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

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  4. Ingo, I think your right and this was his way of making up for it. I also love the fact that since Stargrove does gymnastics, then he just naturally knows how to fight. I thought that was hilarious.

    And Ty, can't wait to get you and your brother's take on it in December. :)

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  5. "John Stamos: The New Breed Of Hero" is the best tagline ever. Maybe Stamos can make a new Stargrove adventure one day!

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  6. I'm telling you! He needs to embrace this piece of 80's Trash Awesomeness!

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